I unabashedly love my own birthday. I’m a child! I love attention and being loved and cake and presents! I haven’t really celebrated my birthday in the past two years — 2012: working, fasting, breaking fast at KFC with Elza (lil lady sitting on the far left of the last picture); 2013: riding shotgun in a lorry with my little sisters outside Jakarta — and before that I spent it in Melbourne for four years, sometimes with friends but always far away from my best friends from home. This year, I’ll be working on the day itself, and I still feel a wobbly shame at how upset I am about that, about losing that day, even though I will be working on something important, something that’s been a long time coming, working with wonderful people on that day.
Anyway, I decided to have a birthday dinner on Wednesday night, earlier than planned, so I could celebrate in a symbolic way my turning one year older. I wanted Mexican food and so I picked the one that seemed best and the most convenient based on online reviews (KL has like 12 Mexican places, so it wasn’t very hard to choose) and we went there, none of us having ever been. They didn’t have horchata, but the food and the ambience and the staff were all great. Elia (mini sombrero on the right) got me a balloon throne — “The balloons are in colours from Up! ‘cause you’re an old man.” — the staff brought out the guitar and put a giant birthday sombrero on me. At the end of the night I had Nadia’s earrings and Dhi's lipstick on, my bag two books and a box of chocolates heavier. I ate both the first and last slices of my own birthday cake, and when I took a breath before I blew out my candles, I found I didn't really have much to wish for.
25’s been a good year for me, full of lessons and highs and personal reflection and (hopefully) growth. Friends have made comments recently that have hinted to me that my confidence is showing on my face as well as my actions. And that’s marvellous, really heartening to know. But always, always, I come back to being grateful above all (else I’ll float away on a cloud of inflated self-regard). I’ve spent a solid 14 years with a lot of the people in the photo above, our friendships expanding and solidifying through time. I had three hours with them last night and it felt barely enough. But I have them, grounding me and buoying me both. I have had them, and I will continue to have them, and that’s my best gift, sorry to open the can of creamed sentimentality over here.
I’m really looking forward to 26. I’m so young yet, and so excited! I’m just discovering that some hats might actually look good on me! It’s gonna be a good year!
If you’ve been following me on instagram or twitter, you’ve probably seen my adventure in jewellery making for the market stall I started up this weekend. as promised I’ve gotten my shit together and started an ~~etsy store~~ with worldwide shipping wooo
updating this post with a new discount code YESNOPE pls take advantage of this until the 7th of june to get 10% off $10 or more <3
Tonight I asked myself the question, “Who are your male role models?” just to see what my answer was. I said my dad (he is the best person) and then I stopped, and in the long pause that followed I quickly realized that pretty much all the influential, inspirational people I’ve encountered in my life and that have impacted me, my philosophies and my identity, are all women. And I wanted to list them all because it’s 4am and I want to.